Thursday, May 14, 2009
Movie Watching Manners For Dummies.
Movie goer,movie maniac, or movie junkie, call it whatever you want.Movie watching as we all know is one of malaysian favourite leisure time activity.Whether it is just hanging around to kill some times with your buddies or casual dates with a perfect stranger, the cinema is the safe place to chill around and have some laugh.From sappy tear jerking to high rush of adrenaline action flick, the cinema provide us wide range of movies to suit every needs of the viewers.
So here are X guide to go to cinema mainly for idiotic people who are so stupid that they didn't know a simple courtesy when they are in the cinema.Let me divide it into our five main senses, which is the sense of sight,smell,touch,hearing and taste.
1) The sense of sight.
When we are going to the cinema to watch movies,some of us just want to leave everything that have been troubling us behind and just want to relax and enjoy ourselves.So we don't need to encounter another stupid drama from stupid young couples.From making up to break- up, we rather leave the chick flick action to the professional which is the actor and the actress that we pay to watch their movies.So just let us watch the god damn movies and make our two cents worth.We don't need to watch two monkeys macking.Get a room!
I want to see Jennifer Aniston trying to cope with a dog from hell not watching two teenager writhing and groping each other.I pay my money to watch Scarlett Johansson flirting with some married guy who she wants to dry hump not some tamil teledrama where some indian chick cry her heart out and shout at her boyfriend because he's been cheating behind her back.
2)The sense of smell
As we all know a cinema is like a giant big box where a big screen and about hundreds of seats in it.It have about four entrance, two in front and the other two is in the back and it is closed with air conditioner on maximum speed or full blast.So please,please if you want to watch some movies, please consider to go to the toilet to make sure that all of your nature call business mainly business number two is finish.Don't go inside with your stomach rumbling and gassy, exspecially after you ate about half dozen of curry or eggs.We all trap in a container and there is no air-purifier install in it so don't just go farting or belching whenever you want!Think for a fucking second!We don't need to know what you ate for your fucking lunch more over inhaling it for two hours!Please have some respect to other people.It is not funny to fart as loudly as you can and laugh your heart out!
3)The sense of hearing
I know that nowadays about 95% of the people in the world have their own mobile phone.Little kids for god damn sakes who are just in their kindergarten have their own cellular phone.We know you just brought a new phone or just downloaded new ringtones and want to brag about it to others but not in the movies where the scenes of stupid big blonde with silicone implanted boobs is being chased by Jason Vorhees.Come on now, in the middle of suspense where the moronic bitch hide and hoping Jason wouldn't found her hideout, a stupid truetones of Indonesian dangdut songs is interrupting and spoiling the moment.What the fuck!For your information and for others who didn't know we can set our phone to silent mode when we are in situation like this.Just imagine if you are being chased by psychotic killer,I'm pretty sure you wouldn't set your phone mode to general when you are hiding right?Plus is it that hard to turn your phone into silent mode?Does it require you some ritual where you need to cross seven seas and go to the valley of the dead just to turn your phone into silent mode?
4)The sense of touch
I know it is dark in there and you are afraid of watching some thailand corpse hanging in a cinema with blood dripping and suddenly the motherfucker move, but do you really need to hit some stranger next to you?Do you really need to hug him/her?It is okay if you are Nasha Aziz or Adriana Lima but when you are an old dude who watching with her girlfriend or wife it is just plain stupid and embarassing dude.
5)The sense of taste
This is a rare situation but it does happened.When things just get excited and intriguing, You are eating the popcorn like some junkie and then suddenly bam! when you try to drink or eat your popcorn, something floating in your drink or your popcorn suddenly taste like crap.You try to find the gravity what the hell is going on and suddenly the person who watch besides you apologize to you because his/her chewing gum or whatever the hell that person ate drop or accidentally find its way into you drink or your popcorn.Fuck!!
So that is X guide for stupid people who do stupid thing that is stupid enough to make fool out of theirselves.Until then, X blogging off!
Movie goer,movie maniac, or movie junkie, call it whatever you want.Movie watching as we all know is one of malaysian favourite leisure time activity.Whether it is just hanging around to kill some times with your buddies or casual dates with a perfect stranger, the cinema is the safe place to chill around and have some laugh.From sappy tear jerking to high rush of adrenaline action flick, the cinema provide us wide range of movies to suit every needs of the viewers.
So here are X guide to go to cinema mainly for idiotic people who are so stupid that they didn't know a simple courtesy when they are in the cinema.Let me divide it into our five main senses, which is the sense of sight,smell,touch,hearing and taste.
1) The sense of sight.
When we are going to the cinema to watch movies,some of us just want to leave everything that have been troubling us behind and just want to relax and enjoy ourselves.So we don't need to encounter another stupid drama from stupid young couples.From making up to break- up, we rather leave the chick flick action to the professional which is the actor and the actress that we pay to watch their movies.So just let us watch the god damn movies and make our two cents worth.We don't need to watch two monkeys macking.Get a room!
I want to see Jennifer Aniston trying to cope with a dog from hell not watching two teenager writhing and groping each other.I pay my money to watch Scarlett Johansson flirting with some married guy who she wants to dry hump not some tamil teledrama where some indian chick cry her heart out and shout at her boyfriend because he's been cheating behind her back.
2)The sense of smell
As we all know a cinema is like a giant big box where a big screen and about hundreds of seats in it.It have about four entrance, two in front and the other two is in the back and it is closed with air conditioner on maximum speed or full blast.So please,please if you want to watch some movies, please consider to go to the toilet to make sure that all of your nature call business mainly business number two is finish.Don't go inside with your stomach rumbling and gassy, exspecially after you ate about half dozen of curry or eggs.We all trap in a container and there is no air-purifier install in it so don't just go farting or belching whenever you want!Think for a fucking second!We don't need to know what you ate for your fucking lunch more over inhaling it for two hours!Please have some respect to other people.It is not funny to fart as loudly as you can and laugh your heart out!
3)The sense of hearing
I know that nowadays about 95% of the people in the world have their own mobile phone.Little kids for god damn sakes who are just in their kindergarten have their own cellular phone.We know you just brought a new phone or just downloaded new ringtones and want to brag about it to others but not in the movies where the scenes of stupid big blonde with silicone implanted boobs is being chased by Jason Vorhees.Come on now, in the middle of suspense where the moronic bitch hide and hoping Jason wouldn't found her hideout, a stupid truetones of Indonesian dangdut songs is interrupting and spoiling the moment.What the fuck!For your information and for others who didn't know we can set our phone to silent mode when we are in situation like this.Just imagine if you are being chased by psychotic killer,I'm pretty sure you wouldn't set your phone mode to general when you are hiding right?Plus is it that hard to turn your phone into silent mode?Does it require you some ritual where you need to cross seven seas and go to the valley of the dead just to turn your phone into silent mode?
4)The sense of touch
I know it is dark in there and you are afraid of watching some thailand corpse hanging in a cinema with blood dripping and suddenly the motherfucker move, but do you really need to hit some stranger next to you?Do you really need to hug him/her?It is okay if you are Nasha Aziz or Adriana Lima but when you are an old dude who watching with her girlfriend or wife it is just plain stupid and embarassing dude.
5)The sense of taste
This is a rare situation but it does happened.When things just get excited and intriguing, You are eating the popcorn like some junkie and then suddenly bam! when you try to drink or eat your popcorn, something floating in your drink or your popcorn suddenly taste like crap.You try to find the gravity what the hell is going on and suddenly the person who watch besides you apologize to you because his/her chewing gum or whatever the hell that person ate drop or accidentally find its way into you drink or your popcorn.Fuck!!
So that is X guide for stupid people who do stupid thing that is stupid enough to make fool out of theirselves.Until then, X blogging off!
† My
doll smiled.
7:49 PM
1 commented
7:49 PM
1 commented
